The Hangover
by Sicksam123
Summary: Searched the fanfic site and didn't find one like this so I'm giving it a go! Charlie is getting married to Claire on the island but Sawyer persuades him to have a crazy bachelor party. What could possibly go wrong?
1. The Proposal

**Okay so I'm taking a little break from my big fanfic 'Finding Clementine' to do something light and fun. I don't think it really counts as a crossover but it is heavily inspired by the hangover films! Enjoy- more chapters to come...**

* * *

><p>The Hangover<p>

"Where are you leading me to?" asked Claire excitedly.

"You'll see…" said Charlie walking confidently through the trees.

"You're not lost are you?" she said.

"Nope, it's right through here." He replied. As they kept moving Claire could here something nearby.

"Isn't that your guitar?"

"Yes…" he told her, leading her into a small clearing lit beautifully by the sunset.

Sayid was sitting on a rock playing a romantic foreign tune and in the centre of the clearing was a picnic rug full of perfectly prepared food.

Claire broke out into a huge smile.

"What is all this?" she asked him. Then he did something she wasn't at all expecting- he got down on one knee and produced a small box from his pocket. She almost fainted on the spot.

"Claire, since we crashed here, you and Aaron have been the only things that give me a reason to get out of bed each morning. I fell in love with you the day we met and have never stopped loving you since. In a place of such beauty and such danger we have to make every second count." He opened the box and lifted out an expensive, diamond encrusted ring. And that's why we shouldn't wait another minute to become husband and wife. So, Claire Littleton, will you marry me?"

Claire was in tears and all she could do was give him an emotional nod. It was now his turn to get tearful as he carefully placed the ring on her finger. He got back up and they hugged tightly.

Sayid smiled and continued playing.

* * *

><p>The next morning Sawyer was awoken earlier than he would have liked. He had been woken up by excited chatter going on outside his tent. He grumpily got dressed and went outside onto the beach.<p>

"Could you guys keep it down?" he said irritably. Hurley who was standing nearby, turned around.

"Sawyer, man you're up! You haven't heard yet- Charlie proposed to Claire yesterday!"

Still being half asleep, Sawyer had to clear his ears. It had sounded like he had just said 'proposed'.

"What?" he asked.

"He proposed to her!"

"Seriously?" for a reason he could not fully explain he burst out laughing.

"What's the matter, dude?" said Hurley.

"Nothing, nothing. Did he make the ring out of bamboo?" he joked.

"No, he found a real ring, an expensive one- out in the jungle. Must have fallen out of the plane when it split apart."

"Right. And where exactly are they planning on getting married?"

"Mr Eko's church. He agreed to be the minister. But he said that if he was he'd need a bigger share from the fruit collection."

"Cool. And shall I put a date in my diary."

"Oh, yeah, it's on Friday."

"Friday? You mean this Friday? The day after tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Charlie doesn't want to wait. We just need some time to prepare everything."

A wedding would certainly be the strangest thing to happen on the island. It was even crazier than polar bears and smoke monsters. However he did always think that Charlie and Claire weren't an average couple. Out of respect he decided to go and congratulate Charlie and headed across the beach to his tent.

"I hope they're not expecting a wedding shower." He muttered to himself.

When he arrived at the couple's tent he found Charlie sitting and jotting things into a notebook. He looked up.

"Sawyer, what are you doing here?"

"Just coming to wish you congratulations. According to the coconut telegraph you're engaged!"

"Oh… well thanks."

"Where's the bride?"

"She and Kate are searching through the luggage for a dress suitable for Friday."

"And what're you writing about?"

"Just coming up with ideas. Oh, that reminds me, you still have a lot of things in your stash don't you?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, you don't happen to have any champagne do you?"

"Actually for your information I have two bottles. But I was saving them…"

"You don't have to give them to us but-"

Suddenly out of the blue, Sawyer had a stroke of genius.

"No, it's fine. You can have them." He said.

"What? Really?"

"Yeah."

"What's the catch?"

Sawyer smiled, he had been waiting for this question.

"I'll give you the champagne but first, we're gonna have ourselves a bachelor party."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry I know this chapter is really short but I prefer doing it in small doses. The next chapter should be up soon...<strong>


	2. Sawyer's Plan

**Here is chapter two! Thanks for the feedback to the previous chapter, it really helped my motivation. By the way, as a warning for future chapters- this is not supposed to fit in with the canon very much at all. So just roll with it.**

* * *

><p>"No." Charlie repeated adamantly.<p>

"Come on!" said Sawyer gleefully. "It would be great! I've got a whole bunch of other booze!"

"Sawyer, I am not having a bachelor party."

"Then I guess you don't need any champagne for the big day…"

"Look, I am not bargaining for it. If you don't want to give me the champagne, fine."

"But I don't see why you wouldn't want a big party dedicated to you…"

"Because Claire would kill me! And another thing, I used to go partying a lot back in the days of the band- they would never end well."

"We're on an island in the middle of nowhere! The worse that could happen is getting lost in the jungle!"

"Exactly! I don't want to get lost in the jungle! I just want to get married."

Sawyer sighed in defeat.

"Fine. No bachelor party." He said. "And I'll let you have the champagne anyway."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, why not? I'm happy for you, man."

"Thank you Sawyer. I've got to go and check on Aaron."

Charlie got up and left his tent. Sawyer watched as he went over to Sun, who was holding Aaron. Then something clicked. Aaron could help him convince Charlie- he needed to do something nice for the kid and then he would be owed.

* * *

><p>That night Sawyer crept through the tree-line with a flashlight, searching the bushes. He had a vague memory of seeing a cuddly teddy bear among the pile of unwanted luggage that had been shoved into this corner of the camp. He had located the pile and was now rummaging through it. Finally after a few minutes he came across it- the soft teddy was sitting there waiting to be taken by someone. Sawyer reached down and grabbed it. He pulled back his arm to retrieve it but on the way up he accidentally brushed the bear against a sharp edge of some metal plane wreckage.<p>

"Son of a bitch!" he cursed quietly. The teddy had completely torn in half.

Sawyer growled angrily but then he spotted something in the mess of white fluff. It was a small plastic bottle of some strange pills. The teddy had been used for smuggling some bizarre new prototype drug. His brain whirred into action and he developed a new plan.

* * *

><p>At 7.00 AM the next morning in Sydney, Australia, Ryan Alistair's alarm clock went off exactly as planned. He put on an expensive suit, was served some delightful coffee by his butler and headed out to get in the back of his white limo as he was driven to the airport where his brand new private jet was waiting for him.<p>

Alistair was a very corrupt, middle aged man and the thought of a private jet excited him very much so. He wouldn't have even been able to afford it a fortnight ago, but luckily after a series of negotiations, Widmore Industries had bought all of his research labs and took over the company, finally giving him what he had dreamed of for many years- retirement. The jet was going to take him to his new house in Los Angeles where he was planning to settle down.

He boarded the small plane and strapped himself in for the takeoff. The seats were extremely comfortable and once they were in the air he decided to watch some TV.

Something told him that it would be the best flight of his life so far.

* * *

><p>Back on the island a few hours later, the residents of the beach camp were buzzing with excitement, looking forward to the next day's wedding. Some speculated about what dress Claire would be wearing, some were preparing gifts and others were bringing together and sorting out food for the wedding dinner- it had been decided that there wasn't enough for a rehearsal.<p>

Charlie was going around the beach checking that everything was going to be perfect. He looked at his list of things to check and he realised he had reached the final one. It was a hastily scribbled note that simply read; Sawyer, Champagne. So he approached Sawyer's tent and called his name.

"Hold on," came his voice from inside. After a few seconds he emerged carrying the two bottles of champagne. "Hey there, I'm guessing you came for these."

"Yeah brilliant," said Charlie, holding out his hands for them. Sawyer, however, retracted them.

"Ah-ah-ah."

Charlie rolled his eyes. He knew Sawyer would not stick to his word.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Nothing." Replied Sawyer. He reached into his tent and pulled out a small cup. "Just thought you'd want to do a taste test."

"Oh... OK, go ahead."

Sawyer pulled out the cork and poured a small drop into the cup before handing it to Charlie. "Hang on, why was it already opened?" he queried.

"That's nothing; I was just giving it a whiff earlier. I was curious to know what it would smell like."

"Oh, of course."

Charlie lifted the cup to his lips while Sawyer watched in anticipation and he let the drink pour into his mouth. He swished it around for a moment, taking in the taste and then swallowed it.

"That's the best bloody champagne I've ever drank!" he said, snatching the bottle and looking at the label.

"Oh yeah?"

"By a mile!"

"Glad you like it."

"Like it? I love this stuff."

Sawyer smiled.

"Want another small swig?" he asked.

"Yeah alright…" Charlie drank another cup of it and only grew more excited. "You know," he said, "I've been thinking. Maybe I should have a bachelor party."

"I don't know," said Sawyer in a mock voice of doubt, "It's a bit late to plan one of those isn't it?"

"No way! I say, we gather up the guys and drink this bottle. Then we'll still have another whole bottle for tomorrow."

"I guess we could. Yeah, I'll be back in a moment." Said Sawyer.

* * *

><p>Miles up in the air, Ryan Alistair switched channels on the TV in his private jet. Unfortunately, there was nothing good on at that time so he turned it off and opened up the information guide about the jet. His eyes widened and he smiled at one of the items on the list of included features.<p>

He reached over and pushed a round purple button that had a picture on it of a silhouetted woman. The standard lights turned off and were replaced by colourful ones. Some music began playing, a few shiny, metal poles rose out of the floor and several attractive strippers entered. They wasted no time in removing the majority of their clothing and started dancing seductively. Alistair grinned as one of them started giving him a lap dance. The lap dance was unexpectedly cut short when the plane hit turbulence.

The lights suddenly started flashing and the whole jet shook violently.

Some of the strippers screamed and Ryan reached for his seatbelt. One of the stripper poles broke at the base and came loose. When the plane shifted in an unknown direction the pole flew towards Mr. Alistair and went straight through his chest, impaling him and killing him. The jet continued to spiral out of control and finally made impact with the ocean, beginning to fill up with water.

Luckily, a few of the strippers were actually more intelligent than people often might expect and all of them were trained for what to do in the event of a water crash. They rushed to the emergency exits and quickly yet calmly found their way out of the sinking aircraft.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, on the beach camp Sawyer had returned to Charlie with Hurley and Desmond who were happy to have been picked out of everyone on the beach to attend Charlie's bachelor party. The four of them sat down around a fire and Charlie poured out each person a cup of the spiked champagne. Sawyer had decided to leave Hurley and Desmond in the dark about what they were really drinking as he knew they would never do it willingly if they knew.<p>

He raised his now full cup and made a quick toast.

"To Charlie and Claire."

The others did the same and they all downed the drink.

That was the last thing any of them remembered of that night.

* * *

><p><strong>The next chapter might not be up for a short while so please be patient because my laptop is broken at the moment and I am very busy with other things. But don't worry I have plenty of ideas and I'm definitely not planning on abandoning this story! Thanks for reading and feel free to leave a quick review :)<strong>


	3. The Search Begins

**Here is chapter three! Thanks for the reviews :) Enjoy...**

* * *

><p>BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Sawyer opened his eyes and groaned. His head hurt and he was drenched in water. He reached out his arm and turned off the shower which he was slumped at the bottom of. He vaguely wondered why he had decided to shower while in his clothes. He thought back to the previous night- he could only recall making a toast- everything was a blur after that. He recognised the beeping sound and stood up. He was in the bathroom at the swan hatch.<p>

Sawyer climbed out of the shower and walked into the living room. It was a complete mess. One of the bed sheets had been hung up in such a way that it looked like a banner and someone had written in thick, black marker pen "Congratulations Charlie!".

Hurley was still fast asleep on the couch holding something but a shirtless Desmond had woken up and was crawling out from underneath the overturned ping pong table. He stood up, making the smiley face crudely drawn across his chest visible.

"Sawyer?"

"Just get the button, I'll wake up Hugo." Sawyer replied. Desmond nodded and headed for the geo dome where the computer was. Sawyer shook Hurley.

"Hugo, wake up."

Hurley slowly came to and the object he was holding fell out of his hand- it was a thong.

"Where the hell did you get a thong Hugo?"

"I don't know… I don't remember a thing." He replied. The beeping stopped and they heard the clock flipping back in the other room.

"Guys, you might want to come and see this," called Desmond.

Hurley and Sawyer went to find out what he was talking about. He was standing by the computer in the centre of the room, pointing toward the machinery at the edge of the geo dome. There was a body lying there, face covered by one of the large gadgets.

Sawyer went over and began to remove the surrounding machines.

"Charlie, are you alright man?"

But it wasn't Charlie- it was Locke. Locke blinked in a startled manner.

"Sawyer?"

"What the hell are you doing here John?"

"It's still my shift for button pushing…" he sat up, disorientated.

"We didn't give you any champagne did we?"

"No." Locke answered.

"Do you think you can tell us what happened last night brotha?" asked Desmond.

"Yeah, of course."

[Flashback]

Locke sat by the swan computer doing a crossword. He checked the timer- there were still 42 minutes on the clock. He went back to the puzzle and scribbled in an answer.

He looked up again and listened carefully. He was sure he had just heard a sound. It was a woman giggling. He stood up and picked up the gun from the desk. He made sure he was alert. Surely no-one from the beach camp would be coming down to the hatch at- he checked his watch quickly- 3AM.

The woman entered- she was very much underdressed. The moment she saw Locke's gun she screamed and the other people with her rushed in. There were two more half naked women and one man- Hurley.

"Hugo? What are you doing here? Who are these women?"

"Oh, hey John," said Hurley in a slurred voice. "You can go, I'm gonna take this shift."

"Who are these women?"

"They're uh… Strippers."

"What?"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of the button for a while and then Sawyer and Desmond are gonna get here and they can take over."

"I don't think that's a very good idea Hugo. I think you should leave and we'll discuss this in the morning." Hurley ignored him and suddenly acted as if he'd had a strike of genius.

"Hey, you can watch them strip too if you like! Come on, it'll be fun."

"Hugo, I'm warning you-"

"What is all this stuff?" asked one of the strippers, running her hand over the computer.

"Hey, don't touch that," said Locke, instinctively raising his gun.

"LOOK OUT!" shouted Hurley. He jumped, tackled Locke into the machinery and knocked him out cold.

[Present]

"Wow, sorry dude," Hurley apologised. "Is there anything else you can remember?"

"No that's it." Locke told him.

Sawyer was deep in thought.

"So you didn't see Charlie?" he asked.

"Nope. Was he meant to be with you?"

"Yeah but he doesn't seem to be here and we can't remember anything that happened last night."

"Why were you lot even drinking?" said Locke.

"Oh, we were just having a small bachelor party for Charlie."

"Well have you checked your pockets for clues about where you guys may have gone?"

Desmond, Hurley and Sawyer all reached into their trouser pockets and rummaged around. Desmond found nothing, Hurley found the black marker pen he'd used to write the banner and Sawyer seemed to have some kind of brown powder. He sniffed it- they were crushed up biscuits.

"Well that was useless." Said Sawyer.

They spent a while searching the rest of the hatch for Charlie but without success. They had hoped he'd be in the bedroom but although the beds had been slept in, he wasn't around.

Suddenly there was a loud banging noise from the other room and the four guys went to investigate. Someone was knocking on the door from inside the locked armoury.

"Quick, enter the combination," said Hurley. Locke did just that and swung open the door. Something jumped out and knocked Sawyer to the floor.

"Vincent! Why are you here?" The golden Labrador got off of Sawyer and started sniffing his pockets. "Oh sorry, I think I squished your doggie treats."

"Well we've found the dog but Charlie's still missing." Said Desmond, "he's supposed to be getting married this evening."

"And we need to find those strippers that John here seems to remember." Joked Sawyer.

"What are we going to do?" asked Hurley.

"Well don't panic for a start," said Locke calmly, "its 12, noon. Jack is going to be here at any minute to start his shift. When he gets here we can all go back to the beach camp and look for Charlie there. The banner says his name so he must have been here at some point. He probably just woke up early and wanted to go back to his tent."

Sawyer nodded. "Well we don't have any better plan." He said.

"What if he's not at the beach?" Desmond asked.

"Then we've got another seven hours to find him or that wedding is off."

* * *

><p>Before Jack arrived they had a window of opportunity to clear up the living room which all of them contributed to except for Desmond who was still really tired from getting up every 108 minutes to push the button throughout the morning. When Jack got there they all walked back to the beach but no-one there had seen Charlie since the day before. Locke went back to his own tent, wishing Sawyer, Hurley and Desmond the best of luck in finding the missing groom.<p>

"Dude, we should probably give Vincent back to Walt," said Hurley. Sawyer nodded and they started to walk up the beach to Walt and Michael's tent.

Claire was at the church with Kate working out where all the guests would sit when she saw Sawyer trying to sneak by.

"Sawyer?" she asked. He stopped and approached her.

"Hey Claire. I'm looking forward to tonight." He said innocently.

"Oh, thanks. Have you seen Charlie this morning? I saw you with him last night so I thought you might know where he is."

"Well he told me he's a bit superstitious about seeing the bride on the day of the wedding."

"I thought the superstition was to do with the dress."

"Yeah well he just wanted to be safe."

"Right…" Claire sounded doubtful but it was the best that Sawyer could come up with for now.

He went back to where Hurley, Desmond and Vincent were and they continued their short walk to Michael's tent. Walt was sitting outside reading a comic book.

"Hey Walt, we've bought your dog back!" said Sawyer, handing the boy the leash handle. Walt took it and smiled.

"Thanks guys."

"So, we came by for him last night did we?"

"Yeah, you were all acting a bit weird. Charlie was with you too. You just asked if you could borrow him for the night so I gave you some of his treats and you went off into the jungle with him."

"Did we mention where we were heading off to?"

"Umm… Oh yeah, you mentioned a van." Walt told them. Hurley widened his eyes.

"The DHARMA van, of course." He said, "That's where we went first."

"Thanks brotha, you really helped us out," said Desmond as he, Sawyer and Hurley disappeared into the trees.

Hurley led them to where the clearing where the blue DHARMA van had been parked before and inevitably it was no longer there.

"So what do we do now?" asked Sawyer.

"We follow the tracks." Said Hurley pointing to the muddy tire tracks that were leading further inland.

* * *

><p>So the trio followed the tire tracks for a good hour or so until they finally found the van- it had crashed into a large tree and was far too wrecked to be fixed a second time.<p>

They peered through the windows but Charlie wasn't in there. Then they heard something in the trees behind them- a rustling in the bushes. It was Danielle Rousseau and she was pointing a rifle at them.

"Wow hold on there, we're not here to attack you, we're Sayid's friends." Said Sawyer quickly. She lowered the rifle and hesitated before speaking.

"Fine. I will spare you again." She said.

"Again?" asked Desmond, confused.

"Yes," she replied, "I had the chance to kill you all last night too… when you crashed so close to my camp."

"Oh," said Hurley, "We're sorry; we didn't know that this was near your camp. But we'd really appreciate it if you could just tell us what you remember from last night because none of the rest of us can."

"Okay, I'll tell you what I remember."

[Flashback]

Danielle sat in her camp sharpening a long fallen tree branch into a spear with a pen knife for her latest idea for a trap. Suddenly she heard the roaring of an engine and a humungous crashing sound. She grabbed her rifle and urgently ran out of the small camp toward the noise. She crept behind the bushes and watched quietly.

Sawyer, Charlie, Hurley, Desmond and Vincent stumbled out of the twisted wreck of the DHARMA van. The men were all giggling and laughing for some reason.

Danielle considered her options. These people didn't seem like much of a threat and it would be worthless killing them. She continued to watch as they broke down into tears and Charlie started shouting.

"I'm getting married! I'm getting married!"

They sat down for a bit to rest.

"Hey I just had an idea," said Hurley, "let's play hide and seek!"

"Aye, that's a great idea that is," Desmond replied. "You guys go hide, me and Vincent will count." Sawyer, Hurley and Charlie stood up and ran off into the jungle.

Danielle realised at this point that there was no reason to observe them for any longer and that she might as well head back to her camp so she backed out of the bushes and left Desmond counting in a strange order that he appeared to have made up himself.

[Present]

"We wanted to play hide and seek?" asked Sawyer.

"Yes." Danielle replied.

"Well no wonder we lost Charlie."

"You lost your friend?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Excuse me," said Desmond, "But was I still wearing my shirt when all of that went on because I haven't been able to find it this morning."

"Is it blue?"

"Aye."

"You were wearing it at the time."

"Okay, well we need to find it. And Charlie. Which way did we go to play hide and seek?"

"The hiders went in that direction." Said Danielle pointing to the denser part of the jungle.

"Thanks." Desmond told her.

"I hope you lot find your friend."

So Sawyer, Hurley and Desmond went off further into the trees in the hope of finding Charlie but they were running out of time and the wedding was just four hours away…

* * *

><p><strong>Just so you know, the story will have five chapters in total and I'll upload the fourth as soon as I can. Thanks for reading and keep the feedback coming!<strong>


	4. Tale of the Strippers

**The penultimate chapter is here and as the title gives away, you will find out what happened to those strippers. Thanks for the reviews! **

* * *

><p>Sawyer, Hurley and Desmond were not anticipating how difficult it would be to find Charlie by just following where Danielle had pointed- it was their least specific clue so far.<p>

"At this rate Claire's gonna marry someone else before we find Charlie." Said Hurley.

"Look we just need to keep searching," said Sawyer.

"We don't even know if that woman was pointing the right way! She might have got it wrong." Desmond told him.

"Well it's the only lead we have at the moment," Sawyer protested.

"Why don't we split up?" Hurley suggested, "we could find him quicker that way."

"Good idea," agreed Sawyer. They all spread out to continue the search but after another half hour of looking they had gotten nowhere.

Sawyer wandered through yet more trees looking high and low for the missing groom.

Suddenly he heard shouting from close by; it was Hurley.

"BEAR! BEAR!" he called out.

Sawyer took off towards the shouting and soon ran into Desmond who was also coming to rescue Hurley from the bear attack. Hurley ran out of some bushes and fell to the ground by their feet.

"There's a polar bear!" he said almost breathless.

Sawyer reached for his gun but he hadn't brought one along. He and Desmond took a step back from the bushes- something was approaching…

The polar bear emerged quicker than a bullet and leapt onto Hurley who was still on the floor. Sawyer and Desmond burst out laughing. It was a baby polar bear and it was licking Hurley's face all over.

"Hey it's not funny!" said Hurley feeling embarrassed and pulling the small furry bear away from his face. He stood up. "I thought it was an adult, I couldn't see it properly but it was chasing me."

"So you're scared of something as small and cute as that are you?" asked Sawyer.

"No. And I'll prove it. I'm going to keep her as a pet."

"What?"

"You heard me. She must have been scared out here all on her own."

"Wow. That is crazy." Sawyer said, finally getting serious again. He looked around. "Hang on; I don't think I've ever been this far into the jungle before…"

"Me neither brotha,"

Without warning they heard a rifle clicking from behind the trees around them and a man stepped out from the bushes. He had a bushy beard and looked threatening.

"Well, well, well. Look who came back." He said. "I did warn you loud and clear what would happen."

Sawyer tried to remain calm he took deep breaths. Even though they were facing one of 'the others' he could not afford to panic.

"Easy… easy now, we're not here to take your territory." He told the man. "We're just looking for our friend."

"Was he with you last night?"

"Yes, but when we woke up this morning he was gone."

"If he was with you last night but not today he must have either been a golden lab, or the guy I shot."

Sawyer looked horrified.

"Shot? As in killed?"

The bearded other laughed. "No, no. I'll tell you exactly what happened…"

[Flashback]

Tom Friendly was pissed off. He had just been having a nice dinner with the rest of his people at the barracks when someone had completely spoiled it by dragging him out to warn off some drunken Oceanic 815 survivors.

As he marched through the dark jungle with his rifle he made the finishing touches to his fake beard and made sure his clothes looked savage.

He became stealthy when he heard one of them screaming wildly and hid behind a tree. He aimed his gun at Charlie's leg and pulled the trigger. The screams of confusion quickly turned to screams of pain and Charlie collapsed with blood pouring from his leg.

Friendly came out from the tree and tutted mockingly.

"We warned your people already, do not cross this line." He pointed at the invisible boundary and spat on Charlie who just wailed even louder.

Sawyer and Hurley came out of nowhere and halted when they saw Friendly with his gun raised, ready to fire.

"Don't shoot!" shouted Sawyer.

"Charlie man, are you alright?" asked Hurley he reached out to help up his friend.

"Don't move!" said Mr Friendly.

Desmond and Vincent arrived as well.

"I've found you all! I win! Hey, what's goin' on brotha?" he said.

"You plane crash idiots need to stay the hell away!" shouted Friendly. "I was just having a nice meal and you have no idea what a pain in the ass it is for me to come down here tonight!"

The guys looked ashamed as if they were kids being told off by an angry parent or teacher. "Get the heck out of here before I kill one of you! You can't just run around like some crazy pack of wolves! This is our Island."

Vincent whimpered. Desmond and Sawyer carried Charlie out of the clearing with Hurley and Vincent close behind them. The moment they had left Friendly ripped of the beard a walked away.

[Present]

"If you just tell us which direction we went in we'll never invade your space again." Promised Sawyer.

"Sure, just follow the trail of blood your friend left behind."

Sure enough some of the bushes were covered in dried up blood and a visible trail was leading off away from 'other' territory.

"Thank you." Sawyer said as the group left.

* * *

><p>While they walked Sawyer noticed that Hurley was acting strangely.<p>

"Are you okay?" he asked him.

"Yeah, dude. I'm fine."

"Okay…"

They were silent for a moment.

"Do you think he meant it?"

"What?"

"That we're a 'wolf pack'."

"No, Hurley we are not a 'wolf pack'." Hurley ignored this.

"We're the wolf pack." he said happily.

Sawyer rolled his eyes. The last thing he needed was some crazy nickname for the group.

For the rest of the journey they were all quiet as they followed the blood. Occasionally Hurley would pet the little polar bear he was holding who he had now decided to name 'Carmen' after his mother.

"That's it." Said Sawyer eventually.

"That's what?" asked Desmond.

"That's it. The blood trail ends here."

"Maybe we covered up his leg at this point." Said Hurley.

"Mr Sawyer?" said a girl's voice from behind them. They all span around and saw to their disbelief- the three strippers Locke had talked about. They weren't wearing much but to be fair they were on a tropical island.

"You're the strippers?" said Desmond.

"Yes. Don't you remember all the fun we had last night?"

"Nope." Said Hurley. "In fact I still can't believe we could even get that drunk from a glass of champagne…" he was questioning what had caused their drunken madness for the first time and Sawyer didn't like it. Before Hurley could think about it any more he started talking.

"Where did you lot come from?" he asked. "You're not others are you?"

"Other what's?" asked one of the women.

"We came on a plane." Said another. "I'll explain what happened last night…"

[Flashback]

The private jet sank to the bottom of the ocean like a stone. Luckily three of the strippers got out in time and spotted land. They swam to the beach a came ashore.

"I'm soaked!" shouted one of them.

"It's so cold…" said another, shivering.

"Look, we're just lucky to be alive. We need to find somewhere to stay."

They went into the jungle and crept through the trees, not wanting to break the late night quietness that was present. All they could hear was the wind's gentle breeze and drops of water rolling off their smooth skin and hitting the plants below.

"Do you hear that?" asked one of the women.

Someone was laughing hysterically nearby. A group of men and a dog appeared. Sawyer and Desmond were carrying a wounded Charlie.

"Dude, am I the only one seeing three really hot part naked girls right now?" asked Hurley. The strippers giggled.

"No, I see them." Said Sawyer with a wide smile.

"We don't mean to intrude but our plane crashed just off shore."

"Hey, our plane crashed here too!" called Charlie drowsily, the blood loss starting to effect him a little. "What kind of plane?"

"A private jet. We're strippers."

Most of the guys almost fainted whereas Charlie actually did. Sawyer shook him back awake.

"Do you know a good place to stay? We can strip for you for free if you like."

"The hatch would be a good place for that." Said Desmond.

"I… can't cheat… on… on Claire…" said Charlie.

"I think that's just the blood loss talking, mate. This is your bachelor party. You're allowed to celebrate."

Charlie shook his head.

"You are losing a lot of blood, put this around your leg and put pressure on it," said one of the strippers, taking off her bra and handing it to him. He wrapped it tightly and held it there.

"What are we gonna do if Charlie doesn't want any free lap dances?" asked Desmond.

"Actually, I have an idea," said Sawyer. "Hurley, take these lovely ladies to the hatch. Me and Desmond will be there with Vincent in about half an hour."

Hurley excitedly showed the women the way and left with them in the direction of the swan station. Sawyer, Desmond, Charlie and Vincent went off another way.

[Present]

"So shouldn't you have still been in the hatch this morning," said Sawyer, "Because none of you were around when we woke up."

"We slept in the bunk bed and snuck past you when you were questioning some bald guy to avoid awkward morning talk."

"Where were you planning on going?"

"To the beach camp you told us so much about last night. But we've been wondering around for hours and we haven't been able to find it so we decided to come back here where we first met you last night and hoped you would return."

"Okay, we'll point you towards our beach camp, find the bald guy and tell him that you aren't 'others' and that Sawyer says you can be trusted. Also tell him that we'll explain everything at the wedding. But first you need to tell us which way we went after our little meeting."

The strippers pointed and the guys thanked them and showed them which way the camp was before setting off looking for Charlie again.

* * *

><p>It was not long before they came out of the trees and saw that they had come across the cliff where a small beech craft was lodged delicately into the edge of the rock.<p>

Desmond's shirt was hanging off the nose of the plane.

"Why would we go here? It doesn't make sense. Unless Charlie started begging for his drugs…"

"Oh my God," said Hurley, "I bet he's in there."

"In that plane? Are you sure?" asked Sawyer.

"CHARLIE!" shouted Hurley. There was no answer. "He's probably unconscious."

"Someone needs to climb up there," Sawyer said.

"I'll do it brotha." Desmond volunteered.

"Are you sure? It looks dangerous…"

"Aye, I need my shirt back anyway,"

Desmond approached the cliff and began to climb up the vines. He had some experience of this kind of climbing when he was training as a soldier so he was pretty good at it. He finally reached the top of the cliff and climbed across to the entrance of the small plane.

He clambered to get inside and the moment he did it made an uneasy creaking sound loudly, while leaning slightly to one side.

Desmond crawled through, looking left and right but he couldn't see Charlie. He reached the front and the plane tipped a tiny bit forward. He reached through the cracked window to pull his shirt off of the plane nose. Just as he got it in his hand, the whole plane lurched forward and fell to the hard ground below, making a clanging metallic crunch.

"Desmond?" called Hurley nervously toward the wreckage.

To his and Sawyer's relief, Desmond crawled out with nothing but a few cuts and scrapes.

"I'm fine brotha, and I got my shirt back. But Charlie wasn't in there."

Sawyer looked annoyed and kicked the plane.

"Crap! I was really starting to think he was in there!"

"Well I think we've hit a dead end." Said Hurley sadly, "The wedding is just over an hour away… I think it's time that we tell Claire what happened."

"Are you sure?" asked Desmond, putting on the retrieved shirt.

"She's gonna be pissed off," said Sawyer.

"Well hopefully she won't go too mad. We'll share the blame together- it isn't any one of ours fault."

"Actually," Sawyer interrupted, "It is."

"What do you mean?"

"Well… when Charlie said he didn't want a bachelor party I sort of… spiked the champagne with some pills I found in the luggage…"

Desmond and Hurley stared at him in shock and anger.

"Why the hell didn't you tell us earlier?" shouted Hurley.

"I didn't mean for it to all get out of hand like this!"

"I don't think you did the right thing brotha," Desmond told him.

"I'm sorry! But Charlie's got to be somewhere; he might even already be back at the beach!"

"He had a bullet in his leg, so wherever he is now, he's not going anywhere without help." Said Hurley, "Look, we have to call off the wedding so we can get a real search party out here." They were silent for a moment. Sawyer looked ashamed of himself. "You've let down yourself and more importantly, you've let down the wolf pack." Hurley said. "Come on; let's go back to the beach. It's over."

* * *

><p><strong>Well it's not quite over- one chapter left :) Thankyou for reading!<strong>


	5. Wedding?

**I just want to thank again for all those who have read this far and especially to those who have given feedback. This is the final chapter of the short story. Enjoy :)**

* * *

><p>The wolfpack walked quietly through the jungle in the direction of the beach camp. Sawyer stared at his worn out shoes, concentrating hard. How could their trail have gone cold so suddenly? It just didn't make sense. The way he thought of it was like a jigsaw puzzle and by finding all those clues it had been like putting the puzzle together. But now it felt like they had finished the jigsaw- they just couldn't really understand what the final big picture was. The answer was somewhere within those flashbacks they had recovered.<p>

He looked up and realized they were already back at camp. A few people approached Hurley to gawp at the baby polar bear he was still holding.

Sawyer scanned his eyes across the beach. Most people were already dressed in the nicest clothes they could find for the wedding. A few of the more muscled guys were building a tent for the strippers like submissive robots.

Sawyer, Hurley and Desmond walked across to the church which looked beautiful and had been set up with torches and rows of bamboo seats stuck in the sand. Guilt plagued Sawyer as they walked past. He knew that all of this was for nothing without Charlie.

The trio finally reached a secluded area a couple of hundred meters around the corner from the church- it was a piece of plane wreckage positioned vertically upright to hide something from view. They came around it and saw Claire getting fitted into her dress by Kate.

"Guys, what are you doing here? There's like an hour until the wedding." Said Kate. "Get out of here."

"No, it's okay," Claire reassured her, "What's up?" she asked them.

The three men were still a bit mesmerized. Claire was wearing a clean, white dress that didn't appear to have gotten at all torn in the plane crash and had an orangey purple flower in her hair.

"You look great," said Sawyer momentarily forgetting what he was actually there to tell her.

"Oh, thanks," she blushed.

"Uh, anyway, right, what I was going to say… Hugo, do want to explain?"

Hurley looked disgusted.

"No way dude this whole thing was your plan. You've gotta take the consequences."

Hurley and Desmond left whispering.

"This is going to be so sad brotha," he overheard Desmond saying, "just like some kind of TV drama…"

Once they were gone Sawyer went back to his explanation but he kept stalling.

"Well, last night. I had a kind of crazy idea… Charlie was- I wanted a bachelor party and… uh…"

Those things Hurley and Desmond had said moments ago were still ringing in his ears for some reason.

'This whole thing was your plan…' 'Just like some kind of TV drama…'

'Your plan…' 'TV drama…'

'Plan' 'TV'.

Suddenly he knew where Charlie was.

Everything made sense now. The picture on the jigsaw puzzle had finally come into focus.

"And what?" asked Claire, rushing him back to the here and now.

"Oh, nothing. Just wanted to wish you good luck."

He belted off back up the beach, past the church and the strippers' new tent to where Hurley and Desmond were feeding Carmen the bear a small mango.

"I worked it out!" he shouted, "Come on, no time to explain." He ran into the jungle with the other two close behind him and trying to keep up.

They didn't even know where Sawyer was headed until they finally got there. They were back by the beech craft that Desmond had caused to fall from the cliff earlier that afternoon.

"What are we doing here?" asked Hurley. "Charlie wasn't in the plane, man, we already looked."

Sawyer decided that he could finally explain it to the others.

"Okay," he began, "the banner in the hatch, it was addressed to Charlie, right? So he must have been there at some point? But Locke said that Hugo was only expecting me and the Scotsman to be coming- not Charlie. So if he wasn't in the hatch why did we write the banner for him? He had to see it somehow. I realized thanks to what the strippers told us we'd said. Charlie said he couldn't get a lap dance because he'd be cheating on Claire but I said I had a plan for him. So where could he see the banner and watch the lap dance without actually being in the hatch?"

"The Pearl!" shouted Hurley. The three of them grabbed the heavy, metal plane and pulled it to one side before kneeling by the dirt and pulling the steel handles to the doors of the pearl DHARMA station. The stared directly down the octagonal tunnel and sure enough, Charlie was lying at the bottom of the ladder facing the TVs, a bra wrapped around his wounded leg. He looked up at them.

"About bloody time," he shouted. Sawyer, Desmond and Hurley laughed and cheered.

* * *

><p>After spending a few minutes pulling Charlie out of the station they all tried to regain their breath.<p>

"What the hell even happened last night? I don't remember anything." Said Charlie.

"I'm really sorry," said Sawyer. He pulled the plastic bottle of prototype pills from his pocket and explained how he had spiked the champagne and the clues they had followed to find him. "But I'll make sure these pills don't do any more damage," he concluded, throwing them into the bushes. "So what do you say? Do you forgive me?"

"Well, what you did was stupid and dangerous but despite that and the bullet hole in my leg, I do remember one thing about my bachelor party."

"What's that?"

"That it was flipping awesome."

They smiled.

"See, you've still got some spirit in you." Said Sawyer warmly.

"Great," said Desmond, coming up to them "Cos that and a quarter will get us twenty five cents."

"What's up with you?" asked Sawyer.

"What's up with me? We found Charlie but we've still failed brotha. In case you hadn't noticed, the wedding is in about ten minutes. Even if we sprint we'd be twenty minutes late and I don't think Charlie can sprint at the moment anyway."

"Well maybe they'll hold the wedding for a bit. I'm sure they'll just be happy we're all okay." Said Hurley.

"Why is there a polar bear here?" asked Charlie.

"Oh, her name's Carmen," Hurley replied, showing him the furry baby.

"No, that one-" Charlie said, pointing at the tree line. A huge beast of a polar bear was there growling on the spot eyeing the group of humans evilly.

"I think he wants his daughter back." Said Sawyer shakily.

"Hang on," Desmond told them, "look at his eyes now…" they all paid close attention to the animal's face- it didn't look quite right and it was foaming slightly at the mouth. Suddenly Sawyer gasped.

"Crap, he ate the pills." He said.

He was right, the bear had consumed the prototypes and they were having a bizarre effect on him. He did not move from where he was standing and the guys examined him. Sawyer even mounted it as a joke.

"Wait!" he said, "We can ride him to the beach and get there on time for the wedding!"

"Are you mad?" asked Hurley.

"No, I think it's a brilliant idea!" chirped Charlie.

"Get on!" Sawyer told them. They all mounted the bear and Sawyer gave it a pat.

"Come on boy. Get us to that wedding," he whispered in its ear.

Before he knew it they were off and speeding through the trees at top speed. Every now and then the adult polar bear would divert from the path to the beach but whenever it did Sawyer instructed everyone to lean to the side they wanted to go.

* * *

><p>Finally they saw light through the trees and came out onto the sandy coast. The bear kept running and Desmond checked his watch.<p>

"Just in time!" he said.

"STOP STOP STOP!" Sawyer shouted frantically as they skidded to a halt right in front of a whole church of people who were staring at them.

They all got off and Charlie made his way to the bamboo altar where Mr Eko was waiting already.

"Wait Charlie," said Sawyer, "Take off your bra!"

"Take off my what?- oh…" he removed the garment from his leg and limped up to the front of the church. The adult bear sat behind all the seats and fell half asleep, tired from it's desperate journey. Sawyer and Desmond took their own seats ignoring the confused onlookers while Hurley went to take his position as best man.

When Clair appeared though, all the attention was moved to her. She looked beautiful as she made her way down the aisle, arm in arm with Locke. She reached the altar and stood opposite the bloodied groom.

"You look amazing." Said Charlie. She glowed with happiness.

"You look like shit." She told him. They laughed and then the ceremony began.

Some would have said it was a strange wedding but it was for Charlie and Claire it was the best wedding ever- because it was theirs. After saying the vows they had written they were pronounced husband and wife and the moment they kissed everyone applauded loudly.

* * *

><p>"What will it be tonight sir?" asked the bartender at the beach kitchen a couple of hours later.<p>

"Anything but spiked champagne." Joked Charlie. Sawyer laughed and just gave him a DHARMA beer.

"That was easily the best wedding I've ever been to." Sawyer said. "But you never did tell me what the honeymoon is going to be."

"Ah, it's great. Tomorrow, me and my glorious wife will spend the entire day in a nice quiet area a few miles from here. Just the two of us."

"Very nice."

"Indeed it will be."

Desmond lifted a boom box above his head and it began to play a romantic tune.

"I think that's your dance." Said Sawyer.

Charlie smiled and went over to where Claire was. He took her in his arms and they slowly danced together to the song's beat and the rhythm of the ocean's waves.

It was Sawyer's turn to smile as he watched them. He even got up himself and joined the dancing that more and more people were taking part in. He convinced one of the strippers to be his dance partner. A few songs later however he was too tired to continue so after a dirty hint from the stripper that he would be seeing more of her later that night he went to sit down and watch the sunset on the horizon.

* * *

><p>Hurley came and sat by where Sawyer was.<p>

"Hey dude."

"Hey Hugo. Where've you been, you disappeared after the wedding."

"Oh well I released Carmen and her dad back into the wild. It's probably for the best. She might come and visit anyway so it's not all bad."

"I see. But surely that couldn't have taken you two whole hours…"

"That's only part of what I was doing." Hurley told him. "I also went back to the Pearl."

"What for?"

"Turns out that you can command the computer to process a VHS tape of the last 24 hours the cameras in the hatch captured."

Sawyer looked at him with glee.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"We're so watching that tomorrow aren't we."

"Hell yeah."

* * *

><p><strong>The End.<strong>

**Thankyou so much for reading, this fanfic was really fun to write as a small break from my crazy life right now. Did you work out where Charlie was beforehand? What did you think of the story overall? **

**Thanks again!**


End file.
